Love Your Enemies

Matthew 5:44 says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

In February, 2013, my husband and I opened our home to a lady in need so she wouldn’t have to return to the homeless shelter.  She was almost 60 years old, so we were happy to give her a place to stay, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and help her to get back on her feet.  After all, God had blessed us with so much that we were delighted to share with her.  She even professed Christ as her Savior, so we would be helping out a fellow believer.  And although she viewed herself as grateful, honest, independent, smart, full of integrity, and a hard worker, we discovered that she was ungrateful, dishonest, manipulative, self-centered, lazy, and stingy.  And she was so dependent on others that her greatest skill was using people.  She lived with us for a year, finally moving into an apartment down in Northern Kentucky on February 4, 2014.

I hate to call her an enemy, but she displayed no evidence of faith in Christ, and the attitude she held toward us was one of pride, self righteousness, and her right to the blessings that God had given us. Loving my enemy was not easy to do, and I think I may have failed miserably.

But Jesus said…

Love your enemies.   Mary was incredibly wasteful and stingy.  Something that lasted Floyd and me for three months, she would use up in 2-3 weeks, but she didn’t feel obligated to replace it or help purchase the products that she used up so fast.  That could easily have become an issue of contention, and it did bother me.  However, God showed me how to resolve the problem peacefully.  For food items, I simply changed brands to something she wouldn’t eat.  (Mary was such an incredibly picky eater, that was easy to do.)   For household products, I found creative new places to store them; places that she either wouldn’t think to look or refused to go.

Bless them that curse you.  She maligned us before our pastor, accusing us of mistreating her, and I know she told one of our church deacons some fast whoppers about us.  But whenever she needed or wanted a ride somewhere, she turned to us.  Floyd took her to get her hair fixed every Thursday.   And while she always told us thank you, she never displayed any gratefulness in her attitude or actions.  During the year she stayed with us, I easily put 600 miles or more on my car driving her around – down to Kentucky for a dental appointment (45 minutes away), to Hamilton or downtown Cincinnati for doctor appointments (30 minute drive).  Sometimes I asked for gas money.  Most the time I did not.  Mary didn’t drive so I had become her personal chauffeur.  We blessed her time and time again with our time and gas to run her around.

Do good to them that hate you.  When you live with someone, you really get to know them.  We saw Mary for who she really was, and she hated us for it.  I’m not sure she realized that her life revolved around lies and dishonesty and manipulation to get her way.  The last few months that she lived with us, she isolated herself in her bedroom, only coming out when we were gone or at night after we were in bed. We had waited for months for her apartment in Kentucky to come available.  But she was getting more difficult to live with each day, so the first of December we told her that on January 1st, she could move out.  That gave her one more month for her apartment to come available.  The last week of December, she was notified that her apartment would be available on February 1st.  Despite how hateful and ungrateful she’d been, Floyd and I had no desire to see her go back into the homeless shelter when her apartment was within sight, so we allowed her to stay through January and on February 4th, we hauled her and all the things she’d accrued for the past year down to her apartment in Kentucky.

Unfortunately for Mary, while packing her belongings, she lost her wedding ring.  I told her that I would send it to her if I found it.  I didn’t find it.  She either threw it out by accident or she dropped it into one of her bags, and I expected her to find it when she unpacked.  About two weeks later, she called demanding that we return her ring.  She said that she knew her rights and she had already contacted the police department (and our pastor) about us stealing her ring.  Then she threatened to contact a lawyer.   For a couple of weeks, she harassed Floyd with threatening phone calls.  (She wouldn’t call me.  Floyd never raised his voice with her, but I’ve yelled at her before.  I really struggled with loving my enemy.)

Pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.  I prayed earnestly for her.  I shared the Gospel with her.  I tried to encourage her spiritually.   She wanted nothing to do with Christ, just like she wanted nothing to do with Floyd or me.  She only stayed with us for what she could get out of us.   And I believe that is what she was trying to do with God.  She intended to stay with Christ (profess salvation) only for what she could get out of Him.  But no one uses God and in time Mary will figure that out. 

She isn’t saved.  That’s makes her an enemy of the cross of Christ.  And boy was she hard to love.