The things we say and the attitudes we display can have an incredible influence over other people.
My daughter, Jamie, was just learning to drive, And we all know how frustrating it can be to be behind a student driver. Well, Jamie and I were on our way home from church, and Jamie asked me if she could drive. She had her learner’s permit (or temporary driver’s license), but she’d not had the opportunity to get behind the wheel of the car.
About halfway home from church, I pulled over to the curb and we switched seats. Although we were on the main road, it was residential, with houses lining both sides of the street, so the speed limit was only 25 mph through that section.
Jamie nervously started the car and we continued on our way home. This part of Mack Road was incredibly wide, only two lanes but no lines separating them, and not real busy, so it was a good place for her to start. But a couple of miles later, we drove out of the residential area into traffic and lanes marked by lines. We passed the hospital, and the speed limit jumped to 35 as we headed toward a major intersection. But Jamie was too nervous to increase her speed, so we coasted toward the green traffic light at 25 mph.
I couldn’t help but notice that there was a pickup truck right on our bumper. The driver was anxious for Jamie to speed up before the light changed. Too late. Jamie inched up to the red light and stopped while the pickup driver squealed around my car into the right-hand turn lane and slammed on his brake just as cross traffic resumed. Now he had to wait for the light to change or traffic to clear before he could turn. His scowl told me that he was not a happy camper, and he glared at me. I seized the opportunity, lowering my window. He knew that I desired to speak with him, so he lowered his window, too.
I said, “I am so sorry that we caused you to miss the light. This is the very first time my daughter is behind the wheel of a car and she is incredibly nervous. That’s why we were going so slow.”
He smiled at me and relaxed. Then he said, “That’s quite all right. I understand.” When traffic cleared, he turned the corner, making a calm and relaxed right-hand turn.
Sometimes, we forget that there are extenuating circumstances causing our inconveniences, like that pickup driver, and we may not know the whole story. Other times, we need to put ourselves into someone else’s shoe and consider how they may feel about a situation. All they may need is a soft word to serve as a gentle reminder that at one time, they were in the same situation. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Let’s strive to be the one who gives that “soft answer.” It can have incredible influence over other people.