Luke 6:37 says, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned…”
God holds His children to a higher standard. I Peter 1:15 says, “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation.” In all manner of conversation means in everything we do. But very often people we know and love are not saved and they don’t live by God’s standards of holiness.
Such is the case with my younger sister, Melanie, who has professed atheism. Now, Melanie knows that Floyd and I are Christians. And I have attempted to talk to her about her need for Christ on more than one occasion, but she’s not been real receptive. She usually cuts me off. She’s interrupted me with questions, and then interrupts my answer, not allowing me to respond. But when we’re just visiting, I thoroughly enjoy her company. As a person, she’s so much fun to be with and I love hanging out with her. Unfortunately, our geographical separation prevents me from spending as much time with her as I would like. I live in Ohio and she lives in California.
Several years ago, Floyd and I were out in California for a visit when – out of nowhere – she threw an accusation at me. (We weren’t even in the middle of a discussion.) She walked into the living room and said to me, “I know that you’re judging me because Kevin and I live together and we’re not married.” Now, I knew they weren’t married, but they’re both lost. Lost people don’t think about living in sin, and I will never have an opportunity to lead her to the Lord if I hold her to the same standard that God holds me to. I replied, “Melanie, if I really thought like that, I wouldn’t come to see you.” My response must have set her mind at ease because she never brought it up again. (And a couple years later, she and Kevin did get married.)
Then one day, I was talking to my mom and she told me something that tremendously blessed my heart. She said that one day she was talking to Melanie and said, ‘I’ll bet when you and Marjie get together, sparks must really fly.’ And Melanie told me, ‘No, Mom, actually Marj and Floyd are very gracious.'”
God is gracious. Psalm 111:4 says, “…the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.” But as we draw close to the Lord through prayer and through His word, when we are holy “in all manner of conversation,” God’s graciousness will flow through us.
Melanie and Kevin are still not saved, but they have softened over the years. They have a tradition of going to the Cowboy bar on New Year’s Eve. They may have a drink or two, but mostly Melanie enjoys the line dancing while Kevin enjoys the live music and company. In 2007, Floyd and I went to California for Christmas, and on New Year’s Eve, we were visiting Melanie and Kevin, so they invited us to join them. They also offered to forgo their annual tradition and stay home with us. I was touched that they considered our Christian standards.
Floyd and I graciously accepted their invitation. After all, they had invited us to be a part of their tradition. Since neither of us are in any way tempted by alcohol, we went with them, enjoyed the evening, watched the line dancing, and had a soda while we enjoyed their company and established a relationship that could some day have eternal implications.